The Peanut Gallerie

He listens to me and although may not always agree, he hears and understands what I am saying. So, when I go a week of straight James and little relief, he hears me out and even lets me vent a little. 

Best of all, I truly feel loved.

The other night with James gone, Austin took me out to sushi. He hates sushi. But, he knew I was craving it and decided to take me to dinner at one of my favorite places. After, we decided to get a drink at Crush 29 and I got to order my favorite dessert, the Chocolate Bomb. We just sat there talking, laughing, drinking and enjoying each others company. I felt like such an adult.

The night was amazing. 

(I know. There's no James in this post. I think it's just as important to show how well his mommy is being treated :o)

We started off the holiday at my house. Austin and I woke up early Christmas Eve morning to open our gift for each other and some gifts we had for James. He got a drum and some sensory balls from me, plus, a Giants onesie from Austin. We can't wait to take him to his first game!

We spent the morning packing and heading down to the Elizondos where we were greeted with smiles and hugs... and some kisses, but those were mainly for James and not Austin.

That day, James got to open up a gift from Auntie Sarrah. It was a pair of his first ever converse. When Uncle Philip and Aunt Kelli came over, they brought with them a whole playstation for him! With lights and music, this kid will not be bored.

My greatest shock is how well James knew how to open gifts. As if it's ingrained into us that wrapping paper=ripping. 

The next morning Auntie Michelle and Uncle Ben came and we got to spend some quality time with them. It was nice to have the whole family there.

I will miss the holidays having come and gone so quickly, but am looking forward to spring time and hopefully a big trip next September with everyone.

Merry Christmas! and a Happy New Year!

Oh well, Austin and I had fun wrapping them regardless. 

We wrapped a few gifts for James last night. (Some toys.) I sat there thinking of how proud I was of myself. I have broken my family curse and did not give James clothes for Christmas. Nope, the boy got toys... (because, mother, that's what boys want, lol). 

I mean I have a shipment of diapers coming, but don't really plan on putting a bow on it and saying it's from Santa... that's just cruel. 

I went to capture a picture of James next to one of his wrapped gift, but he kept ripping it open. At least he knows what to do with it. 

This is going to be soooo exciting!

Lately, things have been a little more difficult around my house. James is finally getting to an age where he needs more attention than I think I can give. My work is piling up and the stress is starting to show.

It's unfair for James.

He deserves someone to play with him and care for him throughout the day. I'm attempting to set up a new schedule for 2010. Hopefully that will free up some time. I may need to consider daycare. Which isn't ideal, but may be the best solution to our situation.

Today, I set James up on my bed while I caught up on some work. He was being so good and very quiet that I was able to get a lot done. I turned around to find that the little bear had put himself to sleep. I think with recovering from surgery and the cold that has plague him this week, he's about as worn out as I am.

Which is so exciting. I really enjoy their company and the privacy they give. Plus, they are courteous and I have nothing to worry about when it comes to James. 

With them, also comes the farm :o)

First off, there's Peanut (not to be confused with James, but Kristie's peanut is a little chihuahua) Then the kitties and of course, the chickens.

I don't know what it is, but I really enjoy watching the ladies walking around the back... it's relaxing. 

He's also getting a bit of a personality which is so neat to see him develop. I'd say he has really blossomed in the last two weeks. He's such a happy little guy. He'll be sitting in his car seat and be quiet as a mouse. I think he's sleeping, until I get out of the car and look back there. Nope, he's just hanging out enjoying the ride. So content :o)

Kaiser was really amazing. The nurse staff was really attentive (plus, it didn't seem like they get too many cute little babies to dote on back there.. mostly older men that express how they like their nurse a little too much, lol.... the curtains are thin and we can hear you!) The surgeon was amazing. He carried James back to the room instead of rolling him in the crib. It was little thing, but a nice touch. As soon as James was out, they let us go back and see him. He was sleeping, but shortly woke up. 

I think the hardest part for me was the staff telling me that I had to wait to touch him. I wanted nothing more but to scoop him in my arms and tell him how much I loved him and that everything was going to be alright... sigh. 

I did eventually get to pick him up, hold him in my arms and give him a bottle. It was more than a relief to know he was okay.

Luckily, Austin works at Kaiser and was able to sit and talk with me the entire time James was in surgery. He kept my mind from anxiety and worry and I am so thankful for having him there. It made the process easier. I was able to focus on the more important things, like James getting better, being there for him and keeping him calm... instead of letting my mind wander into things I shouldn't think about like what if something happens to him and passing off that anxiety.

Austin was there for the both of us. He's dreamy :o)

Speaking of James and Christmas and exciting things, Austin and I took James for his first visit to Santa! (I'll put up the picture after I scan it in.) James was such a good boy. Santa commented on how active he was for a 6 month old. Yep, that's my little guy :D

Oh, and Auntie Michelle and Uncle Ben got him some stuff for the winter. Like that adorable hat in the picture. I can't believe he doesn't try to take it off. I was sure all babies did that, but maybe James knows that I would never steer him wrong, lol.

If you notice, James is also sporting an Austin. They are awesome to be around... and make James laugh... a lot, so we decided to keep this one (at least until it breaks down).

This is James rolling over. Yep, first phase to crawling is down. He can roll over and roll back. It's cute. He's enjoying tummy time a little more now that he knows he can get out of it. The major challenge this poses, of course, is that I can no longer sit him on my bed while I work. Now he must go in his playpen :o( Oh well, at least it's safer.

Other major changes?

Hm. Nothing I can think of... except that I have the most amazing boyfriend ever! Oh yeah... treats me like I'm something special and best of all, can roll with the punches (as some of you may have noticed, I can dish it out :o) He's perfect for me and I am so excited to have him as part of my life.

Yeah!

He hugs his elephant more. Well, he likes to chew on his nose, but there is hugging in that process. He also has a fancy new haircut. I didn't do the best job, but only the back is a little messed up. He was sleeping but still moving around, so it's a little crooked. 

We are so excited for Thanksgiving! I am thrilled to be able to see Sarrah and the Tiggerbear. It's been too long and only this week have I realized how much I miss just being able to give her a hug :( Although Skype helps me to see her when I want.

Moving into December now, I'm showing James the ropes. He now has his own wish list on the ToysRus website. It just has a few toys on there that he might like. No clothes yet. I just discovered more clothes for him to fit into.

Oh, it's 7:50, I've got to pick up the Peanut!

Here's where we are at:

1. I can stay at my place. Woo-hoo!

2. The check engine light on my car was just an indicator to put air in my tires. I did... but the light still hasn't gone away. I'm going to keep checking the air, but I think it's one of those cars that you need to take in to have the light reset... bummer.

3. I didn't get the freelance Arden job, but you win some you lose some. I may get a raise at work, so that would help a lot.

4. Computer crashed. I got another one from work though and now have a really sweet set up... plus iSight so the family can see James on Skype now! (Really cool I didn't have to buy a separate video cam for the computer.)

Working on the Skyline move stuff, but with absent applications, it is posing a challenge. Tonight is coffee with ESL students. I think I have to bring James, so we may just stay at home and have a relaxing night. We haven't had one of those in a while.

Sorry, I know, no picture or video, but with the new computer, I'm still working to get things back up and running.

Next stop, Thanksgiving. When did that happen?

Tonight I made Vanilla Cupcakes with Garlic Buttercream Icing.

I thought they were a little too sweet and my roommate thought they were a little too garlicky, lol. (I'm a garlic lover and when you eat a lot of it like I do.. you can't taste it as much.) So, next time, less garlic.

My roommate is a culinary student, and he suggested I try a polenta cupcake. Very nice :o) I think he's right... something a little less sweet would make this stand out. We'll see in the next attempt. 

Luckily, I only made 20 mini cupcakes. I had a feeling these ones weren't going to be a hit, lol.

Lol, I promise, it's all for a good cause. Plus there was an amazing sale at Safeway for cake mixes (buy two get three free)! I bought 4 for $11 and got 10! I couldn't pass it up.

I plan to make my cakes from scratch in the future, but this will help me practice my icing recipes and decorating techniques... plus, it was cheap.

I'm considering starting a side job thing with cupcakes. It's why I've been coming up with so many varieties lately. I want to do a catering thing for parties. Birthdays, bridal showers, baby showers... weddings if I get big enough.

I'm not into making cakes that look like things. I know, this fad has seemed to sweep the nation. (I want a cake that looks like a baby!) No, I just want them to look pretty and compliment the theme of the party (it's the designer in me :o) I've been looking at liners and wrappers online and different ways to present the cupcakes... like creating my own cupcake stand.

Most importantly, I want them to taste good. I think people forget that main part about cupcakes. They are sweet, portable little treats! They should taste like little drops of heaven :o)

So, while I continue to come up with a name, logo, image, audience and prices, I'll be testing a few flavors for those interested in being guinea pigs.

And if the catering thing never pans out, Sarrah says we'll turn the recipes into a book. I'm thinking unique flavors and amazing photography :o)

(Lol, he's more laughable in person, I promise.)

I have a few friends who have had babies recently. It's been nice to talk with them about new motherhood. One of the questions I was asked today was "How can I work from home because I don't want to go back to work and leave my baby". Ha! Isn't that the age old question? I guess, unless your husband makes enough and you two can afford to live off of his income alone, parents will always be faced with this all too familiar dilemma. 

It sucks.

Why should we work hard to make enough money to pay a daycare to raise our children? I wish things were different. I wish all of my friends had the opportunity to care for their children at home :o( Who wanted to, of course... lol.. it's not for everyone.

I have been so fortunate with my at home job. Although it's tough some days juggling two things constantly (I'm always up for a good challenge), it is still nice to be at home everyday with James. To be there to make sure he is getting proper nutrition, learning throughout the day and being there for him is important to me. I understand all of his queues because we are around each other most of the time. I am so grateful to be able to work from home and be here for my son. So, if I haven't said this before "Thank you Shark and Nina for this wonderful opportunity". It is amazing and a great help to this struggling single mom.

To my friend with the question, I'll say this. Most at home jobs are sales positions (lucky you for having that experience!), unless you have a freelance skill to offer (like graphic design, lucky me!). I have a friend that brings her baby into work with her, but I'm not sure of the set up or how she accomplishes this. Then of course, there's owning your own daycare or being a nanny, but you know all about that :o) Or working a job where you set your own hours (like my sister in law). Maybe there are a few side jobs you can do to get you by until you are ready to go back. Or cut back on some spending if you can. It's amazing what I've dropped, out of fear of having to get some other job and not see James. You also own your home. What about renting out a room? 

To sum up, there are a some ways around it and you'll just have to find what is right for you. I'll send you some resources :o)

One of the things I explained over and over to my ex, was that I wanted to attend church, but I didn't know what that even looked like. Growing up Catholic, it meant finding that denomination in the area. The problem was, I had no one to attend with, and had no idea where to start. 

God gave me Sarrah :o)

Together we found Skyline, the church I attend today. It's an amazing community that I feel a part of every time I'm there. I enjoy helping with the outside stuff too and the more I attend, the deeper involved I become. It's exactly what I wanted!

Another thing I felt was missing in my life was volunteering. I really wanted to get out there and give back to the community. Now, I actually take initiative to do that... and what's even more awesome is that I've inspired friends to do the same.

I also wanted to get out more. I didn't want to spend my life on the couch, I wanted to go out and do things. The friends I have make that possible.

It was important to me to eat better. I was going out to eat so much, and really didn't understand what I was putting in my body. Now I cook almost all of my meals at home. (I eat out about once a month.) I am in control of that destiny :o)

The last thing I knew I wanted... or rather deserved.. was a family. At the time, this was about me and my husband starting our own, but there was too much going on before we could begin that. Now.. I look at what surrounds me. My parents, brothers, sisters and extended family are all amazing. They have supported me through the toughest times in my life. Plus, we may not look complete to some, but James and I are family. He is my family :o) I couldn't have asked for a better baby.

My next steps are to live within my budget, make more sales, understand my finances and hopefully, buy a house. I have no plans for love... lol.. not to say that I don't want it! Just that it's in God's hands and I'll let Him provide that for me. 

For now, I'm just enjoying the time I have with James. (Ps. That's his new binkie)

Now, I find myself pinching pennies and looking for sales. Yes, me, the girl that walks into a store and out with stuff and still doesn't know how much she spent.. I'm now having to ... dare I say it... budget.

Oh well... all for a good cause. 

One of my attempts to do that is to cut in areas that I don't need. This weekend I went to Michaels to get some fake flowers. I know... I hate fake flowers, but I had to cut the fresh flowers by my bedside table out of my budget.. sigh.

I've also been buying James' clothes off of the Clearance rack. Which, in all honesty, I'm not sure why it's clearanced in the first place? I bought him some cute little jeans and cargo pants... they will only last him a few months anyway. Man, he's growing fast.

Well, I think I'm finally spending within a good limit... at least my mint.com account will like me better. Although, it already got mad at me this month. I spent a little too much with my tithe. Not too much, but more than I budgeted for at least. The thing is... whenever I give back to God, He always seems to provide me with what I need. This month He has more than provided everything back. 

He's amazing in how He works!

It was so much spending time with Steph and the girls. Plus I got to meet her new boyfriend, Evan :o) He such a sweet heart... and his friend Ernie, a funny, sweet guy, plus Ernie's stepdaughter, Corinne, the most wonderful girl I have ever met.

(Oh, and how can I forget Coco, Ernie's adorable dog... and Brooklyn, Evan's dog, who I don't think is fond of me, but I get that a lot from little dogs?)

We ate hamburgers, yum, while Corinne sang. I honestly thought it was a song off the radio, but after Ernie explained it was something she made up! I was so impressed. She has amazing skills as a lyric artist and a wonderful voice. 

She watched after Kyra the entire time. That's a picture of her making sure Kyra doesn't run off. Silly little Kyra. 

Corinne and Phoenix got to go on the aero space swingy thing... which made me think of barfing, lol. I'm getting old. Ernie bought us all candy apples. (Mine was a fudge-dipped one... amazing.)

Let's see, I think James had a good time too. He spent most of the time bundled up in the stroller... it was cold up there. That's Coco in the picture with him.

Maybe we'll go back and cut down a tree this year :o) But for now, it was a really great day full of great memories.

At least I won't end up eating all of them :o)

This time, not so much.

I sat for weeks trying to figure out what kind of cupcakes to make. I've been dying to try my hand at some Matcha Green Tea icing, but didn't think they were "fall" enough for the time of year. So, I picked Pumpkin. I should have thought this through. I don't like pumpkin pie to begin with, so no bueno to start. 

I decided to pair it with a chocolate cream cheese frosting... sounds good, I know. That's what I thought too. I think the problem was that it was a bit too over powering for the pumpkin. I didn't know this about pumpkin, but it's kinda blah. I topped it off with some cinnamon, but that still didn't seem to help. (They make for cute pictures though :0)

Oh well.

My next attempt is to make some cupcakes I really like (but still experimental, of course)... Maybe some Dark Chocolate Cupcakes with Chocolate Cayenne Pepper Frosting.

Can you tell I hate chocolate?

I have recently read multiple articles about babies at 23 weeks (or around that age) and the parents who have them. The common theme at this stage is 'bedtime'. It goes over ways to cope with lack of sleep or how you should begin putting your baby to bed while they are still awake but sleepy.

At risk of jinxing myself, I gave a little chuckle.

James has been sleeping through the night for months. It's as if he understands how important sleep is to the both of us. (Or the little guy is just nice enough to give his single mom a break.) Our bedtime routine consists of reading 'The Hungry Caterpillar', occasionally a little formula and putting the little bear in his crib (with socks on his hands because it gets so cold at night). He usually falls asleep around 10pm (within minutes of putting him down).

He is such a wonderful little guy.

Don't get me wrong. He does have random nights every blue moon where I hold him to quiet him down and get him to bed, but even then, there is still no crying ... just a fussy little bear rubbing his tired little eyes.

Oh James, you make it so easy to cuddle and love you (... but since you're like me, I understand, you enjoy your space sometimes :o)

My only worry is for the next kid who may cry in their crib or stay up all night. I'm not even going to know what to do with them...

Her and my dad are in Hawaii. (Don't even get me started.) So, I didn't want to call her. Even though most of their time has been spent hanging out in their hotel room because my dad is sick. (Oh look, I am getting started.) I offered to go in his place... he should have stayed home to get better... but whatever.

So, I emailed her to ask her for the recipe for Scout Corn. It's a family Thanksgiving favorite... or so I thought. All of these years, lol.

I sent my mom the email. The subject read "Scout Corn" (because even though I never understood why it was called that, I figured it was one of those Ohio things I'd never understand). My mom said she sat at her computer for hours trying to figure out what I was talking about. It took her a day to respond before she burst out laughing. 

You mean "Scalloped Corn"?

(Lol.... In my defense, the Ohio accent has always thrown me off. It took me years to figure out that electricity started with an "e" and is not pronounced "lectricity".)

The rest of her email explains what scalloped corn is. (Hey, lady, being the cook in the family, I know what scalloped stuff is. Now, it makes much more sense :o)

So, here it is. A comfort food favorite... Scalloped/Scout Corn

(I may just keep the name for a good laugh)

1 Can of Creamed Corn

Soda Crackers

2 Eggs

Pepper to taste

Mix it all together. The more crackers you put in, the thicker the dish will be, so it depends on your liking. It should be a bit runny because you throw it in the oven to bake. (I don't know 350?) I know, I'm horrible at this recipe giving. I'm one of those people that doesn't follow them and adds my own things in. 

For example, I've been on this spicy craving, so I might put in a little cayenne pepper in to give it a kick. Plus, I love cheese, so I might put in some Cheddar to make this better.. ha ha. Even some bread crumbs on top would make this dish a little fancy. Some people put in onions and others add in whole kernels as well. I would also think that if you used milk, it would make it creamier.

The corn is like stuffing, so it should be done when a toothpick comes out clean.

My sister, the vegetarian, loves this dish at Thanksgiving. It's one of the few things at the table that doesn't use meat.

Enjoy!

Nope.

I got turned away... a lot. I had to even be persistent. I called multiple kitchens (who, by the way, not all serve Thanksgiving Day meals? Isn't this your focus, your mission... feed the hungry especially on the one day a year that America promotes big meals?) Anyways, I finally got someone with the Salvation Army. I got transferred three times and then had to call another number, but got through.

I told her my sob story. I let her know it's my son's first Thanksgiving and he's spending it with his dad. So, I wanted to volunteer to give back and focus on something else for that day. She agreed... said she was full, but would take one more person (maybe two if I had a friend). 

I'm in!

Woo-hoo! I get to help! This is turning out to be a busy month... an exciting month. I have always loved volunteering. The odd thing is this. I never found the time until now... after I had a kid, lol. In a way, James has helped find the time do the things I have always wanted to do. By not being able to be with him all the time, I have focused my energy on keeping busy with other things I love... and since cupcakes are expensive, wasteful (I have no one to give them to), and hard on the waistline, my next best hobby is giving back.. it's free!

Goals this month. 

1. Every Thursday I'm heading to a local coffee shop to talk with Iraqi refugees. Skyline set something up to help these ESL students practice real conversations. (I just hope they don't walk away saying "dude", lol.)

2. Design the handouts for Skyline's move (flyers, signs, slides, etc.). We have a new location.

3. Volunteer at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving. (check)

4. Make Thanksgiving dinner with sister and dad on Friday after (maybe we should go out to eat instead?).

5. Make a sale. (Oh, it's my white whale.)

6. Get my mint.com account to like me (I always seem to be in the red with that guy). What can I say, I'm a giver.

7. Make sure James' dad doesn't dress him in a turkey outfit. (They will both thank me later.)

8. Figure out a Christmas budget.

9. Find James a doctor we all love.

10. Relax. (It is the holidays after all.)

11. Oh and make Scout Corn for the Terricina Gold Apartment Complex's Thanksgiving Dinner on Wednesday before... Almost forgot.

Ha ha! We had a wonderful time together that I am so excited for next year. I cannot wait to actually dress him up and take him around to show off his little costume. I was even going to attempt to sew it next year. We'll see :o) 

This year we handed out candy.. although sadly only got one group of 7 kids... needless to say, we have a lot of left over candy. I think more and more families are taking their children down a safer route. A friend of mine took her kids to a church gathering. That sounds fun.

So with another holiday past, we are looking forward to more. Next stop, Christmas... oh wait, I mean Thanksgiving... it's so confusing when the stores are celebrating early. 

We have so much in store this month. I'll keep you updated as we go along :o)

Last night, he got into this trance and no matter what, he just kept going. He looked like he was having so much fun, so I let him be :o)

He, he... Silly James.

Answer, yes, but don't give him a big head about it, lol. 

His Grandma Powell bought him this adorable little pumpkin outfit. He's been wearing a lot of footie pajamas because it's getting colder at night. These are perfect for Halloween! (and look how well he is starting to hold himself up!)

We aren't doing much this holiday. Mostly sitting at home and handing out candy. Maybe we'll take a trip over to IKEA to show off his little costume. They are hosting a trick-or-treating night. We will see.

 

Although, it has knocked out my people that I converse with everyday online... making this week... lonely.

James had developed a little cough. I'm not sure where it came from, but he coughs a little in the morning and when he laughs. It's like a dry cough. I called the advice nurse at Kaiser to see if I should take James in. The lady was very helpful. The only thing that struck me as odd was her fourth question... was he blue?

Really?

It took you that long to ask me if he was blue? Wouldn't the "Is he choking" question be before "Does he seem happy?", lol. 

Oh well. 

Luckily, James is breathing and is not blue. He's also eating and in a very pleasant mood... and does not have a fever. All of which are good signs. I'm not going to take him in just yet. I don't want to expose him to anything by jumping the gun. I just hope his little cough passes soon :o)

Well, we didn't quite make it out to Applehill. I didn't think that tiring myself out with an hour drive would help. My body is weak and I'm worried I might get sick if I keep caring on like that.

It's like clockwork.

Plus I love cartoons :o)

The neat part is that he does. 

Getting it into his mouth is no problem. Almost like he has been waiting to eat this stuff for a while. He seems so hungry for it too. Like will start to grunt at me if I'm not fast enough, lol. 

I hope that goes away.

No, the problem we have is keeping it in the mouth. Like he has discovered how to push food out and now, cannot wait to keep trying it. At least he gets creative with it. Sometimes, he'll just push it right out, but occasionally he'll blow raspberries so it's all over his face and bib.

Lucky for us, auntie Kelli bought an easy wipe bib. Which I thought was going to be better than the material ones (laundry is piling). Only now, the food doesn't soak into the bib and James thinks it's funny to try to eat off of it. So, the food that was on the bib will end up all over his face.

Needless to say, by the end of feeding, I'm cleaning baby face, baby hands, baby bib, and occasionally baby hair.

Like I said, he's creative.

Lucky for James, I know about second breakfast at 10am.

Yeah, I'm a little sleepy, but having nights with James makes it bearable. Last night, he decided to stay up with me for a bit. He's moving around so much more now. I don't know when it started, but now he can roll over. It's so silly how excited you get when your baby starts to do new things. I use to think people who talked about their pets and babies were just trying to brag. But it's so amazing as a parent watching him discover these new talents for the first time!

I know... that's his dad... but I'm his mom. I'm not saying it's better... but it is different. The connection we have is irreplaceable. We have been together for a year now. He has been a part of my life in a way no one else will experience with him. 

He is my baby. 

I never understood this connection before. It was new to me. My mom tells me that James lights up when he sees me... I have begun to notice. I am his world and he is mine. When he needs soothing, it's a strange thing to know how to handle this when there is no verbal communication. It's as if it is ingrained in me... like a switch went off when he came into this world and I knew what I had to do. (spooky)

So, for us to be apart is sometimes torture... if that even describes it correctly. It is painful. It hurts the heart. I know where I send him, he is safe, but that is not always comforting. Sometimes, I just want to hold him in my arms.

I've tried to keep myself busy during these times. (I've learned it is what's best for me) At first I went on a couple of dates and as fun and normal these guys were, I wanted nothing more but to be reunited with James. Lately, I've been back to designing a few things. I would take up baking cupcakes again, but worried about the extra costs and pounds that follow my favorite hobby. I'm thinking of starting up a MOPS group at Skyline. Get connected with some of the moms in the area... especially the single ones who might understand a little better. (Although even the married ones express their sympathy for my situation.)

I've also planned a few fun things for James and I to do when we are together and with Halloween around the corner things have been easy to find. My friend Steph and I are headed up to Applehill this weekend. We are looking for a good pumpkin patch to take the kids. I am excited to show James the world... even if it is one Saturday at a time :o)

First one is early in the morning. I sit on the bed and put him on my lap facing me with my knees up. I make a funny face and James starts to laugh. Then I start to laugh because baby laughs are so sweet and cute. Then James sees me laughing and starts to laugh more. I laugh harder, which in turn, makes him laugh even harder. 

He usually ends the game.

The next one is figuring out who the baby in the mirror is. I have huge mirrored closet doors. I hold James in front of them. At first he is suspicious. (I mean, who is this other baby in his mommy's arms anyways?) Then he starts to laugh. I think the baby says something funny to start it off, like "Who do you think you are, bear?"

The last game is the flying game. He likes that one :o)

The one game we don't get to play that often is tummy time. I had no idea that not all babies like tummy time? 

Since I moved, family is far away and they are in dire need of updates. Plus, people have said they looked forward to reading this blog... even the lurking ones that don't become fans :o)

Okay, here's what you've missed. (I'll get you caught up)

Peanut and I moved back to Sacramento!!!! Oh si si. So much fun. Krisite has been kind enough to give us a room in her beautiful home in Natomas. For now, we are sharing the big bedroom. I can fit my queen back in here and James is in a crib. I have a changing table... good thing too because the dresser wasn't going to last much longer. 

We have lots of roommates. There's Kristie and Rob, who are mainly at Rob's place. Zack and his kitty Sampson, who is a very loud kitty. Plus all of the animals in the back. Mamma, and the kittens. (She's not their mom, that's just her name) Oh and James' favorite, the guppies in the fish tank :o)

So far, we are settled in here. We've got a routine down and it's amazing to see him grow everyday. He's already in size 3 diapers!!! Crazy. He's a good roommate too. He still hardly ever cries and even when he is awake, he's very chill. Relaxed baby is a good baby :o)

I'm still working from home with Entango, but have applied to get on the list for some state jobs. I have my interview next Monday. I'm nervous, but excited!

The best part is getting back to Skyline. I bring James with me sometimes and it is so amazing to see him enjoy worship. He loves the lights and music. He actually tries to move around and dance... it's the cutest thing ever.

I have to go, James is up from his nap. Here's James at 21 weeks. I can't believe he'll be 5 months soon.

This is the second time he has been gone for more than a few hours. At first, I was doing great. At least better than last time. (Sarrah said that I didn't come out of my room for a while the last time James left.) 

We are starting to settle into a routine for work. It hasn't been easy. In fact, I realized the other day that I'm working two jobs! Simultaneously! What's up with that? I don't see it lasting too much longer. At some point it will be unfair for him and Entango... and me. He'll need more attention during the day and I won't be able to give it.

The greatest help, so far, has been my mom. She watches over him so I can get work done. Plus, my sister and dad come home at night and hold him so I can get chores done (like laundry or putting away the big box of diapers I got from UPS that day). 

Tip for all the baby mamas: diapers.com has some of the cheapest diapers around. Free shipping, no tax, buy in bulk, ships within 2 days. Awesome.

Let's see, the rest of the weekend was spent catching up on things, as always. I feel like I'm always "on". Like my engine never turns off. Look, here I am at 12 in the morning and I'm blogging. I should be sleeping. That's good advice. Goodnight!

Let's see.. update. 

I started working again. We don't have a routine down as of yet, but getting close. Everyday I learn something new. At least James stopped speaking into the phone. On my first day back, James started making his baby noises. It didn't help he was in the baby carrier on my tummy. The lady on the phone found it adorable. I was a little mortified at how unprofessional I sounded, but at least she was very sweet about it. The one thing we have yet to handle is James' sleeping noises. He's a heavy breather and when I'm on the phone, I can only laugh to wonder what the donor on the other line is thinking.

Tiggerbear has been very interested in the little creature that clings to me. It has been a slow introduction but so far, so good. We even go for morning walks with the stroller. Everyone's happy.

I have been limited in what I can and cannot eat... which at first was annoying, but am now finding a major blessing. I am already past my pre-pregnancy weight. Who knew babies were diet regulators? (Although I still miss coffee... chocolate, not so much.)

Diaper changing is done in a blink of an eye. I've changed so many diapers that I have become very efficient. Let's put that on the resume.

Speaking of... I have been forwarding out my resume to various jobs. I think I'm going to hang out until I find the one that suits me best. Obviously there's no such thing as the perfect job, but I can at least take the time to find one that's close :o)

What else? Oh, my favorite thing in the whole wide world. The thing I have been waiting for since I could imagine James' little face.

He's smiling.

For now, they are mostly scattered throughout his other little facial expressions. Every once in a while I can get him to smile big when I'm playing with him. It's the most rewarding thing and truly lights up my day. 

I love the joy he brings me.

I've always loved working and said that if I ever had kids I wouldn't be a stay at home mom... I do fully understand now how difficult it will be to go back... even when I'm working from home, lol! I acknowledge those women who go back to work right away. What a difficult necessity to leave your little one behind.

He seems to be growing and changing so quickly, I'm afraid to miss a day. (One of the reasons I have so many pictures.) I captured these the other night after I put on his cowboy pajamas. These are his kung-fu moves. He thinks he can fight crime. (The superman complex is his dad's side of the family :0)

I had seen Dr. Faryno earlier that day. She told me that she was sure I would go into labor over night. I was already 3cm dilated. But, being that I had been excited before and still no James, I wasn't getting my hopes up. In fact, I began to think he'd never come. I know, strange... but there was something that made me think I would be pregnant forever and that the time for him to be here had already past. 

Obviously, that wasn't the case.

At about 11pm on Thursday May 21st,  I laid in bed thinking about work and my doctor appointment for the next day. I felt a "pop". Strangest feeling ever and I wondered what James was doing in there. I thought for a second that maybe it was my water, but then nothing happened so I ignored it. As I went to turn over in bed, I realized it wasn't something to ignore. 

There was a gush... like in the movies! I was expecting a trickle, so this came as a shock. I got up out of bed, legs closed and holding on for dear life not to wet my mom's carpet, I waddled to the bathroom and informed the family, "It's time to go now". Sarrah and I grabbed my bag, got into the car and were off to the hospital with my parents behind us.

It was exciting and I believe Sarrah and I laughed the whole way.

We arrived at the emergency room. Took some pictures and waited for my chariot/wheelchair to arrive. (It was a busy night at the emergency room.)

As got to the maternity front desk, the nurse asked me why I was there. (Why else do pregnant women come to the hospital at 12am? Lol.) I informed her that my water broke. She asked me for some paperwork and then asked if I just thought it broke... I said "no, it broke". To confirm, she asked that I stand up in the wheelchair where I could feel another gush.... lovely.

They wheeled me to the big girls room. Another nurse asked me to put on a gown, but as I stood up again, more water just came gushing out. At this point Sarrah and I both started laughing... and even more came... I think the nurses thought we were crazy and one of them exclaimed, "we have a giggler". As I made it to the restroom to put on my gown, my water was everywhere and I almost slipped as I began to laugh even more. I kept apologizing to the nurse about the mess I had left. (Yep, still my mother's daughter.)

By this point, contractions had just started. Every time I felt a little panic coming on, I kept reminding myself that I could do it. I had been through so much that this... was icing on the cake. I didn't think too much about seeing James. In the moment, I kept focusing on the task at hand.

Sarrah and I tried to sleep. I knew not to over exhaust myself and to catch some shut eye while I could. I think it was about 3am and I was in pain. I could no longer talk through contractions and it was getting difficult to breathe. I was 6cm dilated. Knowing that I have panic attacks, I decided to opt for the epidural. I was concerned I would start panicking and no longer let me body do what it needed.

Best decision... ever.

Worst timing. For the epidural, I had to sit completely still... but could no longer concentrate on anything but the pain during a contraction. The nurse and Sarrah both kept me focused while the needle went in.

After that, life was amazing.

I got more sleep.

I have no idea what time I woke up or what happened in what order after that. Here's what I can remember.

My thighs were numb. The nurse asked me if I would like to start pushing. I felt the urge, so she started to teach me and Sarrah what needed to be done. We had to stop at one point because James' heart rate dropped. They gave me oxygen and I felt like I was going to throw up. Things were progressing quickly... too quick. Dr Faryno has two other women in labor. I was third in line. Unfortunately, I was a fast learner with the pushing and James started to crown. The nurse said we couldn't go forward until the doctor was there, but that I could do 'little' pushes if it helped.

If any women knows that urge to push, they would laugh with me at this point... and also understand that had it not been for the baby literally between my legs, I would have punched the nurse. I remember my eyes rolling to the back of my head. My hands shaking just to release energy and trying everything not to push James out. 

It was Sarrah who got me through those 15 minutes. Letting me squeeze her hand, stroking my hair and giving me encouraging words. I could not have done it without her.

The doctor finally arrived and moments later James was born.

I was in shock. I could hear him cry, but didn't get to see him for a while. I asked Sarrah to take a picture with my camera phone to show me. 

I never wanted anyone to take pictures of me and made it very clear to all of my family. As I held James for the first time, Sarrah captured this one. 

I'm so glad she did.

Born: May 22, 2009 at 12:11pm

7.7lbs, 20 inches

I am in shock... or excited....no wait... in love. He is adorable and this experience is honestly beyond words. I'll write more about the delivery story when I get the chance, but I wanted to post some pictures for everyone to see. (More pictures to come when I get them all.)

Thank you for all the congrats!

I went to Cinnabar Hills on Saturday where my family and Kelli's family had brunch. (Cinnabar Hills is where Philip and Kelli are getting married in September!) I got my first Mother's Day gift from them... a beautiful little frame for James. 

(Notice in the picture the sliding height scale... yep.. that's my family on the short end.)

My siblings and I also got my mom a gift card to Crate and Barrel. (She's been into entertaining lately :o) Plus a vase full of tulips (okay, that weekend we got her Gerber Daisies, but I liked the way this week's tulips looked).

Apparently when you complain about shortness of breath and lightheadedness, they take that very seriously. I was at the hospital on Thursday for 5 hours running a whole bunch of tests. One which included drawing blood from an artery. (Being that I'm nervous about drawing blood from a vein, this was not cool.) I had to go back today to monitor James again. 

He he.

They keep calling him a happy baby. I don't know how they can tell he's laughing in there, but I'm sure he thinks it is funny to make me have contractions at home and not in the hospital.

Little Squirt.

They are getting stronger everyday, but still haven't become consistent. Maybe by this weekend... lol... of course, the doctor says that every week. This week she looked baffled at why I'm even still pregnant.

Here I was avoiding sushi, caffeine and soft cheeses during pregnancy. Little did I know I was actually consuming laced cereal every morning. The FDA sent a warning letter to General Mills about their Cheerios product. Apparently, the claim that the wonderful, familiar little o's can lower your cholesterol is against regulations and technically being marketed as a drug.

I had a feeling their brilliant marketing ploy might one day catch up to them. And even though I love Cheerios so much, I'm happy to see such a bold move from the FDA, who in my opinion have been very relaxed on some of the many bogus claims food companies have been making to sell their products.

I can only see this as a step in the right direction. 

Food companies might stop 'tricking' the consumer with bright yellow stickers claiming their product is healthy because they have 'muti-grain'. The design of products might actually get cleaned up a bit. Not including Creatives might have to work a little harder to sell their products with more truth. 

Plus, who's going to stop buying Cheerios because of a technicality?

Every night I go to bed... a shooting pain in my hips and lower back. The weight of James is starting to take it's toll. It really hurts to be carrying him around like this.

My mom says there's a moment after pregnancy where you miss it. I doubt it... but I've been known to eat my words before. I just can't imagine missing having James inside of me when I'll have the chance to hold him and see his little face.

That's it I got for today... Janette out.

Sarrah and I did some walking yesterday. Ate a little spicy food. Neither one on purpose or to get him to come any sooner, just had some time to kill and a craving for mexican :o) 

Mmmm tostadas.

I thought my water was leaking a little last night, but will give it some time before I go rushing to the hospital. Things seem to be okay this morning.

The breast feeding class was interesting. I learned few new things (mostly because I read A LOT)... but I did get to experience holding a doll and what it would be like to feed James in different positions. They really emphasized good latch-on technique. Which I also read in the books. I think I'll be okay. Especially with all of the nurses around for support.

I think I felt a real contraction yesterday. Started from my lower abdomen and tightened all the way to the top. It was exciting.

The excitement for his arrival is ridiculous. I cannot imagine being overdue. I am giddy now and patience went out the window. I told Sarrah it's like knowing you are going to Disneyland soon, but not really knowing the exact date. It's hard to sleep!

Although, I think Disneyland has a less painful entry fee? Sarrah says it depends on how you view lines... or crowds... but considering we are usually laughing through the madness together, we don't see this being any different.

I did get a burst of energy. I started to clean things (mom is out of town). Then I stopped because I read not to overexert myself so that I can save that energy for the big show.

Other changes, well, I stopped craving straight sugar. There was a few weeks where all I wanted was sweets.. day and night. Yesterday was the first time I was craving a salad. Yep, a cucumber sounded like the best thing in the world. I've also stopped craving so much milk. I'll drink a glass here and there, but I'm no longer going through a gallon every couple of days... and the thought of milk isn't so appetizing anymore.

Not being in control of your body and it's cravings is a very uncomfortable feeling (yes, even more uncomfortable than a baby's head putting pressure on your pelvis). I'm am just happy no one tried to deny me. 

I think I would have killed them?

Let's see, what else. Oh! The Braxton Hicks contractions are getting more frequent and stronger. The other night it was difficult to breathe through one.

I'm seeing my doctor again tomorrow and taking a breast feeding class at the hospital later that night. I was a little worried about going, but what better place to start the labor process than at the hospital surrounded by informed nurses and supportive pregnant women.