The Peanut Gallerie

I know... that's his dad... but I'm his mom. I'm not saying it's better... but it is different. The connection we have is irreplaceable. We have been together for a year now. He has been a part of my life in a way no one else will experience with him. 

He is my baby. 

I never understood this connection before. It was new to me. My mom tells me that James lights up when he sees me... I have begun to notice. I am his world and he is mine. When he needs soothing, it's a strange thing to know how to handle this when there is no verbal communication. It's as if it is ingrained in me... like a switch went off when he came into this world and I knew what I had to do. (spooky)

So, for us to be apart is sometimes torture... if that even describes it correctly. It is painful. It hurts the heart. I know where I send him, he is safe, but that is not always comforting. Sometimes, I just want to hold him in my arms.

I've tried to keep myself busy during these times. (I've learned it is what's best for me) At first I went on a couple of dates and as fun and normal these guys were, I wanted nothing more but to be reunited with James. Lately, I've been back to designing a few things. I would take up baking cupcakes again, but worried about the extra costs and pounds that follow my favorite hobby. I'm thinking of starting up a MOPS group at Skyline. Get connected with some of the moms in the area... especially the single ones who might understand a little better. (Although even the married ones express their sympathy for my situation.)

I've also planned a few fun things for James and I to do when we are together and with Halloween around the corner things have been easy to find. My friend Steph and I are headed up to Applehill this weekend. We are looking for a good pumpkin patch to take the kids. I am excited to show James the world... even if it is one Saturday at a time :o)