The Peanut Gallerie

I've always loved working and said that if I ever had kids I wouldn't be a stay at home mom... I do fully understand now how difficult it will be to go back... even when I'm working from home, lol! I acknowledge those women who go back to work right away. What a difficult necessity to leave your little one behind.

He seems to be growing and changing so quickly, I'm afraid to miss a day. (One of the reasons I have so many pictures.) I captured these the other night after I put on his cowboy pajamas. These are his kung-fu moves. He thinks he can fight crime. (The superman complex is his dad's side of the family :0)

I had seen Dr. Faryno earlier that day. She told me that she was sure I would go into labor over night. I was already 3cm dilated. But, being that I had been excited before and still no James, I wasn't getting my hopes up. In fact, I began to think he'd never come. I know, strange... but there was something that made me think I would be pregnant forever and that the time for him to be here had already past. 

Obviously, that wasn't the case.

At about 11pm on Thursday May 21st,  I laid in bed thinking about work and my doctor appointment for the next day. I felt a "pop". Strangest feeling ever and I wondered what James was doing in there. I thought for a second that maybe it was my water, but then nothing happened so I ignored it. As I went to turn over in bed, I realized it wasn't something to ignore. 

There was a gush... like in the movies! I was expecting a trickle, so this came as a shock. I got up out of bed, legs closed and holding on for dear life not to wet my mom's carpet, I waddled to the bathroom and informed the family, "It's time to go now". Sarrah and I grabbed my bag, got into the car and were off to the hospital with my parents behind us.

It was exciting and I believe Sarrah and I laughed the whole way.

We arrived at the emergency room. Took some pictures and waited for my chariot/wheelchair to arrive. (It was a busy night at the emergency room.)

As got to the maternity front desk, the nurse asked me why I was there. (Why else do pregnant women come to the hospital at 12am? Lol.) I informed her that my water broke. She asked me for some paperwork and then asked if I just thought it broke... I said "no, it broke". To confirm, she asked that I stand up in the wheelchair where I could feel another gush.... lovely.

They wheeled me to the big girls room. Another nurse asked me to put on a gown, but as I stood up again, more water just came gushing out. At this point Sarrah and I both started laughing... and even more came... I think the nurses thought we were crazy and one of them exclaimed, "we have a giggler". As I made it to the restroom to put on my gown, my water was everywhere and I almost slipped as I began to laugh even more. I kept apologizing to the nurse about the mess I had left. (Yep, still my mother's daughter.)

By this point, contractions had just started. Every time I felt a little panic coming on, I kept reminding myself that I could do it. I had been through so much that this... was icing on the cake. I didn't think too much about seeing James. In the moment, I kept focusing on the task at hand.

Sarrah and I tried to sleep. I knew not to over exhaust myself and to catch some shut eye while I could. I think it was about 3am and I was in pain. I could no longer talk through contractions and it was getting difficult to breathe. I was 6cm dilated. Knowing that I have panic attacks, I decided to opt for the epidural. I was concerned I would start panicking and no longer let me body do what it needed.

Best decision... ever.

Worst timing. For the epidural, I had to sit completely still... but could no longer concentrate on anything but the pain during a contraction. The nurse and Sarrah both kept me focused while the needle went in.

After that, life was amazing.

I got more sleep.

I have no idea what time I woke up or what happened in what order after that. Here's what I can remember.

My thighs were numb. The nurse asked me if I would like to start pushing. I felt the urge, so she started to teach me and Sarrah what needed to be done. We had to stop at one point because James' heart rate dropped. They gave me oxygen and I felt like I was going to throw up. Things were progressing quickly... too quick. Dr Faryno has two other women in labor. I was third in line. Unfortunately, I was a fast learner with the pushing and James started to crown. The nurse said we couldn't go forward until the doctor was there, but that I could do 'little' pushes if it helped.

If any women knows that urge to push, they would laugh with me at this point... and also understand that had it not been for the baby literally between my legs, I would have punched the nurse. I remember my eyes rolling to the back of my head. My hands shaking just to release energy and trying everything not to push James out. 

It was Sarrah who got me through those 15 minutes. Letting me squeeze her hand, stroking my hair and giving me encouraging words. I could not have done it without her.

The doctor finally arrived and moments later James was born.

I was in shock. I could hear him cry, but didn't get to see him for a while. I asked Sarrah to take a picture with my camera phone to show me. 

I never wanted anyone to take pictures of me and made it very clear to all of my family. As I held James for the first time, Sarrah captured this one. 

I'm so glad she did.

Born: May 22, 2009 at 12:11pm

7.7lbs, 20 inches

I am in shock... or excited....no wait... in love. He is adorable and this experience is honestly beyond words. I'll write more about the delivery story when I get the chance, but I wanted to post some pictures for everyone to see. (More pictures to come when I get them all.)

Thank you for all the congrats!

I went to Cinnabar Hills on Saturday where my family and Kelli's family had brunch. (Cinnabar Hills is where Philip and Kelli are getting married in September!) I got my first Mother's Day gift from them... a beautiful little frame for James. 

(Notice in the picture the sliding height scale... yep.. that's my family on the short end.)

My siblings and I also got my mom a gift card to Crate and Barrel. (She's been into entertaining lately :o) Plus a vase full of tulips (okay, that weekend we got her Gerber Daisies, but I liked the way this week's tulips looked).

Apparently when you complain about shortness of breath and lightheadedness, they take that very seriously. I was at the hospital on Thursday for 5 hours running a whole bunch of tests. One which included drawing blood from an artery. (Being that I'm nervous about drawing blood from a vein, this was not cool.) I had to go back today to monitor James again. 

He he.

They keep calling him a happy baby. I don't know how they can tell he's laughing in there, but I'm sure he thinks it is funny to make me have contractions at home and not in the hospital.

Little Squirt.

They are getting stronger everyday, but still haven't become consistent. Maybe by this weekend... lol... of course, the doctor says that every week. This week she looked baffled at why I'm even still pregnant.

Here I was avoiding sushi, caffeine and soft cheeses during pregnancy. Little did I know I was actually consuming laced cereal every morning. The FDA sent a warning letter to General Mills about their Cheerios product. Apparently, the claim that the wonderful, familiar little o's can lower your cholesterol is against regulations and technically being marketed as a drug.

I had a feeling their brilliant marketing ploy might one day catch up to them. And even though I love Cheerios so much, I'm happy to see such a bold move from the FDA, who in my opinion have been very relaxed on some of the many bogus claims food companies have been making to sell their products.

I can only see this as a step in the right direction. 

Food companies might stop 'tricking' the consumer with bright yellow stickers claiming their product is healthy because they have 'muti-grain'. The design of products might actually get cleaned up a bit. Not including Creatives might have to work a little harder to sell their products with more truth. 

Plus, who's going to stop buying Cheerios because of a technicality?

Every night I go to bed... a shooting pain in my hips and lower back. The weight of James is starting to take it's toll. It really hurts to be carrying him around like this.

My mom says there's a moment after pregnancy where you miss it. I doubt it... but I've been known to eat my words before. I just can't imagine missing having James inside of me when I'll have the chance to hold him and see his little face.

That's it I got for today... Janette out.

Sarrah and I did some walking yesterday. Ate a little spicy food. Neither one on purpose or to get him to come any sooner, just had some time to kill and a craving for mexican :o) 

Mmmm tostadas.

I thought my water was leaking a little last night, but will give it some time before I go rushing to the hospital. Things seem to be okay this morning.

The breast feeding class was interesting. I learned few new things (mostly because I read A LOT)... but I did get to experience holding a doll and what it would be like to feed James in different positions. They really emphasized good latch-on technique. Which I also read in the books. I think I'll be okay. Especially with all of the nurses around for support.

I think I felt a real contraction yesterday. Started from my lower abdomen and tightened all the way to the top. It was exciting.

The excitement for his arrival is ridiculous. I cannot imagine being overdue. I am giddy now and patience went out the window. I told Sarrah it's like knowing you are going to Disneyland soon, but not really knowing the exact date. It's hard to sleep!

Although, I think Disneyland has a less painful entry fee? Sarrah says it depends on how you view lines... or crowds... but considering we are usually laughing through the madness together, we don't see this being any different.

I did get a burst of energy. I started to clean things (mom is out of town). Then I stopped because I read not to overexert myself so that I can save that energy for the big show.

Other changes, well, I stopped craving straight sugar. There was a few weeks where all I wanted was sweets.. day and night. Yesterday was the first time I was craving a salad. Yep, a cucumber sounded like the best thing in the world. I've also stopped craving so much milk. I'll drink a glass here and there, but I'm no longer going through a gallon every couple of days... and the thought of milk isn't so appetizing anymore.

Not being in control of your body and it's cravings is a very uncomfortable feeling (yes, even more uncomfortable than a baby's head putting pressure on your pelvis). I'm am just happy no one tried to deny me. 

I think I would have killed them?

Let's see, what else. Oh! The Braxton Hicks contractions are getting more frequent and stronger. The other night it was difficult to breathe through one.

I'm seeing my doctor again tomorrow and taking a breast feeding class at the hospital later that night. I was a little worried about going, but what better place to start the labor process than at the hospital surrounded by informed nurses and supportive pregnant women.

This exhaustion thing is getting out of hand. I am sooooo tired. I can imagine that after James is born, there will be a whole new level of tired, but for now... my body just wants rest and doesn't care to even think about it.

Most of you know that I'm a light sleeper. (I wake up at the click right before the alarm goes off.) So you can imagine how tired I have to be to snore. That's right! I snored. The sad thing is that I'm still a light sleeper so the snoring wakes me up only to find I am the sole source of the noise since I'm the only one in the room. (I can't wait until James is here and I get to blame it on him :o)

It gets worse.

I drooled too. It's as if I am reverting back to some baby phase where I can't control anything in my sleep. I sure hope it stops there, lol.

On top of that, I missed church on Sunday! I have been going every Wednesday and Sunday. For some reason, this Sunday was bust. It's not like I didn't try. I got in the car... but Sarrah took one look at me and said no... maybe it was my hair or just the fact that getting in the car was such a challenge. Sadly, once in the car, I didn't want to get out and go back in the house... the energy it takes is too difficult to even think about... sigh.

I hope he decides to come this weekend. The effort it takes to feel guilty for having my family do everything for me is.... well... tiring.

It's sad, isn't it?

When am I suppose to catch up on sleep? When he's 18? Are you kidding me? I'll be up worrying if he's alright.... Maybe when I'm dead I'll finally be able to sleep peacefully. If that's the case, I don't mind being so sleep deprived.