The Peanut Gallerie

I have a hospital too! James will be delivered at O'conner Hospital. They have classes for childbirth, infant care, breast feeding... I'm just so excited I have somewhere to go if anything happened or when I feel contractions. 

I have held in this feeling for so long.

Nothing seemed real. I couldn't think about a birth because the thought of not having anything set up gave me anxiety. I couldn't visualize anything happening. When asked any questions, I would just answer, "It will work out". Ha.. I think I only half believed that, but either way, I knew no good would come of my worrying about it. 

I feel.. relieved.

The ultrasound went great... as always. Turns out James is 2lbs 8oz. (I chose to forget the size of his head.) She also said he is not shy about being a boy. (Aren't most boys excited about their penis?)

Her last comment was that I didn't look pregnant. Which I'm not sure meant, you look small for 27 weeks or that you just look fat? Hm. I guess I'm just not one of those women who look like they're carrying basketballs.

I am so grateful to have had a smooth pregnancy thus far. I can definitely say that this year has gone so much better than last year already. Only to get better with the birth of my baby :o) I am so excited and can't wait to hold him and kiss him and smother him with love. Oh, how he'll hate it.

Lol. 

On a separate note, James is moving and kicking like crazy. He creeped me out this morning. I could see him moving. I know, as his mother, I'm not suppose to say this, but:

Ew.

There is something inside of me moving around and I can see the movement under my skin. It's like 'Alien'... lol... and any moment he's going to pop out of my stomach and squirm away. See, this is why I don't watch horror flicks. 

Too many visuals.

Speaking of visuals, James is as 'hefty as a head of cauliflower' weighing in at almost 2lbs. The little guy is putting on weight fast.

So, I'll be 27 weeks pregnant in a few days. Do you know what that means? Besides the fact that I'm starting to feel squished and having difficulty breathing occasionally, or that my tummy is getting too round to fit into any of my regular clothes, or that my sleeping arrangement is humorous on a twin bed... No, it means that in 10 weeks James' lungs will have matured. and he will be considered full term.

Needless to say, James will be the first little person we've had in a really long time.

My dad has been waiting for this moment since before I got pregnant. He asked God if he was ever going to get to see his grandkids... ha ha.. Be careful what you pray for :o)

My mom is excited and, as always, anxious about the little bundle of joy. Her fear is becoming attached and having to say goodbye when James and I find a new place. I can imagine how hard that will be and hope the transition is smooth for all of us. Although, it will be nice to have her around to ask her all the baby questions.

My brother and his fiance, Kelli, cannot wait to babysit. I think it's more of Kelli wanting to see how Philip does, so I assured him that babies are hard to kill. (You really have to want them no longer alive.. lol.) Seeing that Anabelle is still walking around with all of her whiskers, I have faith my brother will be great. He has already expressed concerns for the big day when James arrives. (Philip, I think Kelli will schedule it in for you, no worries :o)

I know Michelle and Ben will be wonderful with James. I think both of them were meant to be surrounded by children. (And, hey, he can learn about his rising-moon-star-thing in the process.)

Auntie Sarrah was thrilled from the moment I told her and has never swayed in her stance. She is going to be amazing... 

I was excited for a niece or nephew too. A little bummed when I found out I was going to experience this first, but happy to share James with my siblings.

The neat part has been looking back on the Elizondo baby pictures trying to imagine who James might look like. I love history, so I find this very intriguing. Enjoy!

(Left to Right: Sarrah, Janette, Michelle & Philip)

I'm still very apprehensive about the the whole thing. Mostly because I have been dealing with this headache for 3 months... and every time I think I finally have it... they take it away.

Unless, of course, he gets most of his dad's features, LOL. 

Oh, I kid.

I can't remember how it started. The first thing I remember was panic. I was living at my parents house, but it was a two story townhouse. Sarrah was getting ready to fly to Ohio for a visit. I mentioned that I would like to go too. My parents informed me that she was leaving in a couple of hours and that I should pack if I wanted to go. 

I felt unprepared. 

As I began to look through my closet, I found it difficult to focus on what to bring. I remembered it was suppose to snow, so that I should dress warm for the weather. Everything I pulled out of my closet had fur. It seemed warm enough. 

I had the feeling of being rushed. I expressed to Sarrah that I wish she would have told me ahead of time so that had the opportunity to pack.

The plans changed. 

My parents said we were driving to Ohio instead. My dad had to drive his dad's car to Ohio to drop it off, therefore, we would follow in the Mariner behind him. It was suppose to be a short trip.  As my dad pulled out of the driveway and onto the street, traffic was backed up all the way to our house.

The cars weren't budging. 

Sarrah took this moment to see what I had packed. Apparently, all I managed to grab out of the house was wrapping paper and hangers. My brother, Philip, laughed and made fun of my "clothing" choices. I asked Sarrah if she thought I had time to fix this. So, we unpacked my suitcases out of the car. Sarrah headed into another house and it took a moment to convince her which house was ours. When she finally believed me, we went inside the house and headed back upstairs. 

On the way up the stairs, a receipt dropped out of my bag. Someone in the stairway bent down to pick it up and hand it to me. As I reached the top, there was a patio-like room that was surrounded by glass walls. The room had a sliding glass door on the opposite side that connected to the backyard. 

It was open.

Within the room, I saw a deer. He must have entered through the backyard. He was standing next to a deer laying on the ground.

I entered the room.

I noticed the deer on the ground was dead. It's legs had been ripped off. The deer standing next to it, was blood soaked. I could see detail of the reddish-brown fur that matted together. Another deer entered and was also fully covered in blood. Next to the dead deer was a fawn. Legs also removed. It was alive and squirming around trying to get up.

Sarrah walked in the room.

Smaller critters started showing up. Every one of them bloody. It was a scene out of a war movie. As I looked at the ground, a huge bunny was crawling towards us. Sarrah motioned to get the broom to shoo them out so that we may get a handle on the situation.

Behind her was a dark, moving shadow.

There was no form. It just kept getting bigger. As I went to grab Sarrah's arm and run us out of there, a big squirrel jumped on my shoulder. I attempted to brush it off. The squirrel lunged to sink it's teeth into my head.

Sarrah gasped.

I wasn't sure if she was even aware of the lurking shadow behind her or if she gasped for my sake. 

I fought for breath out of fear.

I woke up. 

My heart was pounding. 

I sat up in bed.

I attempted to talk myself down from what I had just seen. 

It was disturbing.

The most surprising outcome of the pregnancy is knowing what I want, when I want it. Most times I would spend hours with a friend deciding on where we should dine. Fights have broken out with the end result "I DON'T CARE, JUST PICK!". Only producing more anxiety the next time we went out. 

Now, it's simple. James lets me know what he wants. For example, my friend Kelly and I decided to catch up at dinner. That morning, she asked me where I would like to go and I told her I would let her know. Sure enough, around the afternoon, I told her that I wanted Old Spaghetti Factory and that I wanted the half Mizithra and half meat sauce. What can I say, the man knows what he wants. (Not the healthiest, but we'll work on that. For now, I'm just happy to keep things down.)

Sarrah asked me the other night what I wanted. I told her, wonton soup. She said it was too cold outside.... hm. I guess there is a downside to craving things and not having a man to run out and get it. I wonder if cavemen had to run out and hunt down mammoth because the lady had to have it!

The normal day to day stuff (shaving your legs, tying your shoes, running to get out of the rain, sleeping, etc.) seem more challenging when your uterus is the size of a bowling ball. Everyday is a reminder of what is to transpire. 

The plus side is feeling your little one kick and punch (and hoping he's excited because you are watching a basketball game), having hair and skin with amazing shine, and... forgetting the third thing because you have pregnancy brain.

There is just so much to remember these days. I love to read, but I cannot seem to retain any new information. 

The books keep telling me that it is a wonderful idea to talk with your child while he is still in the womb. That sounds wonderful. So, I talk to James the same way I talk to God... in my head... only to discover that, even though he is inside of me, he probably can't read my mind? It just feels a little strange to talk aloud, I guess.

The situation:

I found out I was pregnant a week before I got laid off. 

Which led to...

No more insurance through work.

Which led to... 

Finding outside insurance or paying over $300/month for Cobra.

Which led to...

Discovering that pregnancy is a "pre-existing" condition (and that insurance companies, like Kaiser, believe you are unholy while pregnant, but would gladly offer you coverage when you are done with that mess.)

Which led to...

Researching what insurance will actually cover someone during pregnancy (turns out, no one).

Which led to...

The 5th dimension of hell, or what the state calls... the AIM Program (Access for Infants and Mothers)

This is where my story actually begins.

Since I had no other choice and knew I needed coverage, I started my research on different state programs. It seems I made too much money to apply for MediCal and just barely slid under the radar to apply for AIM. (I made just enough to pay the fullest amount.)  AIM offered two health plan options in Sacramento county (Healthnet or Bluecross). Having already experienced the headache of Bluecross, I chose Healthnet. Plus, my current doctor  in Sacramento accepted Healthnet AIM. 

At this time, Sarrah wonderfully took a job in Menlo Park and we moved to Santa Clara County. This was probably my second wrench. Switching counties seemed like an easy enough process. Since AIM offered the exact same two health plans in Santa Clara County as they did in Sacramento County, I should have no problem with the transition. 

Unfortunately, Healthnet decided to pull out of Santa Clara County after January 2009. They informed me in December of 2008. When I called AIM to discuss the cancellation, they said that it was false information because they haven't received a memo about it. 

Hm.

Finally by January 2009, AIM had received their "memo" and believed me.

Here's where the tricky part comes in... AIM denied my appeal to switch to Bluecross because "you are only able to switch health plans if the health plan you have is no longer provided in that area". 

Hmm.

Healthnet denied my claim to provide me with insurance in Santa Clara County because I'm not in my third trimester.

Hmmm. 

It gets better. When I call AIM to discuss the matter, they constantly repeat that Healthnet has to cover me because they got a memo on it (what is with this memo thing?). I respond that, in theory, it sounds like a great idea. When I call Healthnet to inform them about AIM's "memo", they say that they no longer provide service in that area, so that doesn't make sense.

I attempted option B, a conference call. I called Healthnet to call AIM on a three way call to get this settled. I spent over an hour on the phone so that they may come to the conclusion that they do not agree.

Hmmmm.

Option C, my mother (who insisted to let her give it a try). She can handle anything. (Even the admissions office at school was afraid of her.) So, she called AIM, who gave her the same response. She had a headache at the end of the call. (It made me smile to know that someone actually understood what I was going through.)

It is now February 2009. I am 6 months pregnant. I am without insurance. I thank God for the smooth pregnancy and pray for a prompt ending to this madness.

I am taking up Prenatal Yoga.... and I'm very excited about it. (I've never been a fan of yoga, but I don't think pilates should be done with a fetus inside of you?) The place I found is in Willow Glen off the cutest street where I enjoy spending my weekends. Noah's Bagels, Peet's Coffee and Jamba Juice plus all of the most adorable dogs sitting outside with their owners on the terraces... you can't go wrong. 

I knew I needed some me time... more importantly, I need me and James time. I wanted a way to connect with him. (It may seem strange, but being inside of me, still isn't a proper "connection".) With taking calls for work and dealing with everyday tasks, I feel I don't get the chance to just focus on him... as a being. Sure, when I'm out shopping for baby stuff, it's for him, but it's not about us as mother and son. It's about me being organized and getting stuff marked off my list :o) 

The more I read about the yoga classes, the more brilliant this concept sounds. Meditation, group discussion with other soon-to-be mommies and yes, exercise. You mean I get to go back to exercising, take time to connect with James and get support from other women who are going through what I'm going through? In the words of my friend Daniel, "Love it!". 

(On an even tastier note, a block away from the yoga center is my favorite frozen yogurt place, Willow Glen Yogurt. They serve low-lactose/low-fat fresh frozen yogurt... the best. Hmm.. I may have to re-think the location for yoga :o)